Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
