One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
