Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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