shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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