My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
