"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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