I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
