she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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