we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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