Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
