why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
