I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
