well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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