bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
