Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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