Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
