Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
