while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
