Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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