my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
