so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
