This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is wine microwaveable?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
