I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
