dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
