i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
