We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
