Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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