Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
