# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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