we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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