I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
