I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
