Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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