R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
