i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
