if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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