I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Farmville is her only friend.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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