i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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