mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
