Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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