Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
