Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
