I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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