His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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