I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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