I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
