I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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