I think I just saw someone hide a body.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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