sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
