No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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